As by now you know, President George W. Bush narrowly avoided injury yesterday in a dangerous footwear attack.

The attack was mounted by an Iraqi journalist during a news conference in Baghdad. Muntader al-Zaidi shouted “This is a gift from the Iraqis; this is the farewell kiss, you dog!” and launched two shoes at the American president.

What’s remarkable about this incident is not the attack or the attacker, but Bush’s reaction to the foot-missiles.

As the first shoe hurtled toward him, the President refused to cower behind the podium. In fact, he was almost casual in the way he ducked the initial strike and remained standing to face down the second. So calm was the President, in fact, that it seemed almost as though he’d forgotten where he was. Then again, maybe he thought shoe-throwing was just how Iraqis welcomed visiting dignitaries. Or maybe he’s used to people throwing shoes at him. (Rumor has it that Cheney wields a mean orthotic. But we’re guessing Laura Bush has the maddest shoe-grenading skills in the House.)

In any case, it was remarkable that Bush was able to size up the threat so quickly—size 10. What if the airborne object hadn’t been a shoe? Or what if it had been weaponized? These possibilities, if they occurred to Bush—which, one assumes, they must have—did nothing to faze the President. Steady as a statue, the look on his face was sheer “Bring it on.” So composed, in fact, was our commander-in-chief that he almost seemed to be expecting the attack. Again, and as we hinted earlier, we are pretty sure Bush’s impressive performance has little to do with what President and Mrs. Bush practice in the privacy of their bedroom--though it probably didn’t hurt.

Sure, we’d have expected such fearlessness if the weapon of distraction had been more on the order of, say, a giant pretzel or hapless policeman. The President has, after all, vanquished similar foes in the past.

But shoes appear to be a new and formidable adversary. Size 10s, in particular, whether wingtips or topsiders, are not to be messed with. The attack easily could have resulted in a nasty bruise about the eye or a small cut in the nose area.

One wonders where in Sodom and Gamorrah Bush’s security detail was when the violence erupted.

How was it that al-Zaidi managed to de-shod fully before being wrestled to the ground?

Not that the absence of protection bothered Bush. As he caught the attacker in his sites, the President’s gunmetal eyes narrowed. His magnificent nostrils roared to attention. And afterwards, the breezy fearlessness! The courageous quips!

“So what if the guy threw a shoe at me,” the President remarked. “It is one way to gain attention. It’s like going to a political rally and having people yell at you. It’s like driving down the street and have people not gesturing with all five fingers.” (We are awaiting clarification of the President’s remark about “people not gesturing with all five fingers.” It is, perhaps, a reference to something the troops call a “freedom salute.” Another possibility we’re hearing about—from the President’s own team—is that, prior to the news conference, an Iraqi civilian waved supportively to the President, even though she’d had four of her fingers blown off.)

Bush continued. “It’s a way for people to draw attention. I don’t know what the guy’s cause is. But one thing is for certain, he caused you to ask me a question about it.” Good point. While the President was unshaken by the assault, the reporter he refers to was terrorized into asking a question about something that had happened.

Bush reiterated “I didn’t feel the least bit threatened by it.” Huzzah! A not-five-fingered salute to you, Mr. President!