Unidentified Hunter #1: Shit, Dick! You shot him in the face!

Cheney: Fuck! Oh fuck ... We need a spin-doctor, STAT!

Unidentified Hunter #2: He needs a medical doctor. Jesus, Dick, you just shot the man in the face.

Cheney: No! I refuse! There will be absolutely no face-time with the press until at least Monday.

Quail: Excellent! A decoy! I'm freedom-flying, baby! Woooooo! Check me out!

Cheney: Get me a spin-doctor, STAT!

Unidentified Hunter #1: Stop saying that.

Cheney: Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I am overreacting. Hey Whittington! Walk it off!

Unidentified Hunter #2: He's bleeding quite a bit.

Cheney: We'll get him a purple heart, or something.

Unidentified Hunter #1: I've got the White House on the line. They want to know which doctor you want--the one you played golf with last month or the one you swung that Baghdad deal with.

Cheney: Let's go with Baghdad. The bastard owes me.

Unidentified Hunter #1 speaks into his cell phone: Give us the Baghdad guy. What? Oh, that's too bad. Dick, the Baghdad guy is a podiatrist.

Cheney: Right, and a damned good one.

Unidentified Hunter #1: But we need a doctor who deals with trauma.

Cheney: Who's talking about trauma? There's no trauma here. L.L., you feeling any trauma?

L.L.: Not really, no.

Cheney: There's no trauma here. But send the golf guy. Hey L.L., you got the ... ? You know? Should be in your coat there, right?

L.L. Oh right. Here.

Unidentified Hunter #2: Is that a flask?

L.L. Canteen. That's a canteen.

Cheney takes a big swig from the "canteen."

Unidentified Hunter #2: Who's that supposed to be shaped like? That canteen? Is that Marilyn Monroe?

Cheney: That sir, is my wife.

Unidentified Hunter #1: That doesn't look like--

Cheney takes another swig.

Cheney: That sir is my wife filled with apple juice.

L.L.: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Cheney: Well it appears to be working. Get that doctor here STAT.

Unidentified Hunter #1: No offense, Mr. Vice President, but I just called. They said he'd be here in fifteen minutes. He had to be pulled away. He was right in the middle of a procedure.

L.L.: A procedure? Was he in surgery?

Unidentified Hunter #1: He and his wife have the spa package at Tilden. He was right in the middle of a hypercolonic.

Cheney: He doesn't seem to be moving much. Whittington! Whittington!

Cheney throws a stone at Whittington's head.

Unidentifed Hunter #2: Um Mr. Vice President, I don't think that's a good idea.

Cheney takes yet another swig from the "canteen."

Cheney: Maybe we should cover him up a little ... with some leaves.

Unidentified Hunter #2: Why would we do that?

Cheney: It's just ... Well it just occurred to me that he might be cold. Some leaves, a few branches might keep him ... warm.

Unidentified Hunter #1: Here. I'll put my jacket over him.

Cheney: And maybe some ... dirt?

Unidentified Hunter #1: Mr. Vice President?